#thankful

I have not forgotten about this!  My computer is currently at Best Buy getting assessed because it took a crap!   So, here I am on my iPhone blogging in the waiting area at the car dealership.

As we finish up what people call the “year of firsts” I am still focused on being Thankful.  Not just because tomorrow is Thanksgiving, but it’s a good reminder to share what I am thankful for this year.  I know that this year has been a total shit show, but I still try to find the positive, mostly because that’s what John would have done.

I have mixed feelings on this whole “first” thing.  I feel like the year of firsts is already over.   Last year, John spent thanksgiving at University of Chicago, but insisted that I come home to spend time with my family.  I spent Christmas Eve with my family as John was in the nursing home, and then he was admitted to OSF on Christmas night.  In reality, I spent those holidays without him by my side.  I didn’t open Christmas gifts until after he had passed, so we ultimately didn’t spend that time together.

Somehow I still remain thankful.  I’m thankful every day for the time that I had with John, sick or not.   I’m thankful for the awesome people in my life, that wouldn’t be a part of my life, had John not been in it.   I’m thankful to have spent our first anniversary after he had passed doing exactly what we always do on St Patrick’s day, boozing all day with our favorite people.  I am thankful to have spent both of our birthdays with family and friends.  I’m thankful that I got the first concert out of the way on the day we held his burial service.  (More on that later! 😂)

Most of all, I am thankful for the amazing memories that we have after 10 years of marriage.  There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of something funny or crazy that happened or a story he would tell, laughing hysterically!  I’m sure he’s looking down and shaking his head at me because we now know who leaves the toothpaste in the bathroom sink!  😳  Even though we all know I’ve been a tad of a shopaholic lately, I very much value the time and money we spent on experiences and the related memories.  I’m pretty certain I can’t tell you what I wore to any memory that was created by attending an event, or what item I received for my birthday.   I can probably tell you something about most of the concerts we attended though.  You can’t take the moolah with you!  Spend it like ya got it!  (Ok, don’t take that advice)   I mean, I can make it rain concert tickets……like, for real.   (Don’t worry, I have a whole blog planned about concerts!)

Ultimately, I am thankful for this life, and blessed with amazing people to share it with!!  I am stronger than I could ever imagine, and while I would literally live in a cardboard box to have John back, I am thankful that I have slowly adjusted to life without him.  After all, ya gotta Just Keep Livin!

As a side note, we may have a guest blogger in the near future.   I don’t even know if that’s a thing, but I also didn’t know if people would actually read my rambles!  You’re welcome!