#2018 #letsdothis

I have never been much for resolutions.  I am fully aware that if you eat healthy and exercise, you feel better.   I don’t need to say I’m going to do it at the first of the year, only to slip down that slippery slope of pizza and donuts two weeks in!   I rang in the new year with coffee and donuts, and Chinese for dinner this year, along with a killer 2 hour nap on my couch!  I mean, why not start with a bang!  About the gym…John used to HATE going to the gym in January because he could never find a treadmill due to all the “resolutioners”. He was seriously crabby about it.    Then again he was basically psycho about getting to the gym when he felt good.

With all of the curveballs 2017 gave me, I was happy to see it go.  The year was full of more heartache and drama than should be thrown at a person in a lifetime, much less one single 12 month period of time.  While it was downright horrible at times, there were also bright spots in the year.  I can’t wish the year never happened…but I can believe that the next year will be better.  And THAT is what my resolution will be.

I WILL get through this month.  January is terrible for me as we all know I’m a little funny about dates.  We have John’s 2nd re-birthday anniversary this week, the 5 year anniversary of his cancer diagnosis, the 1 year anniversary of his death, and we end the month with the 5 year anniversary of his first chemo treatment.  It is mind blowing that it has been so long.  Time really moves much faster than you can imagine.

As I move forward, through this month, I am committed to being happy.  Yes, I know its ok to be sad.  No, I don’t cry at the mention of John’s name, or at the drop of a hat, so to speak.  I realize it’s ok to be upset when thinking of old memories, or going through things here at the house.  There are random things that strike my memory, and sometimes its this damn blog that causes me to let loose!  I choose to be happy and thankful for the memories that I have….and just keep livin.

Happy…what makes me happy?  Everything I post on social media, spending time with my friends and their kids, because I need a good laugh!  Having time to go to concerts, because live music is amazing.  Taking trips to the beach, because sand and sun is the best way to unplug from real life.  (even if I end up with terrible tan lines…sunscreen, I KNOW!) Spending time at the pool in the summer, even if it means cannonball splashes!  Spring, Summer, and hopefully October nights spent watching baseball games.  All things I look forward to, along with Rob’s BBQ, random chats at the Shane’s kitchen table, spontaneous dinner and drinks for no reason, and some super lazy Sunday afternoons on my couch!  Oh, lets not forget baby snuggles….how can baby snuggles not make you happy?!  Happy.  Its what you make of your time.  It’s what you choose.  And for me, for 2018, I CHOOSE HAPPY!