#throwbackThursday

This popped up in my Facebook memories from last year.   I’m not sure what prompted me to post this, but I guess I was actually blogging months before I actually started this blog.  The words are still very much true, and little did I know that a short week later, I would experience my greatest loss……

Yeah, so this is a long one. 😬

This year has been the most trying/stressful year of my life. I’m not posting this because I want sympathy or because i want people to feel sorry for me or John. I just want people to understand how thankful we are for the help that we have been offered and have received over the past year. Whether it be meals, prayers, a phone call, a card, a visit, or a simple text, it all means SO much. We have literally had people drop what they are doing and come to the rescue without a single question asked.

Beyond the now 9 hospital stays, time at the nursing home, trips to Chicago (ALOT of those!), dr appts, and working, there’s so much more that goes on “behind the scenes”. It’s difficult to be the only one to do tasks around the house, run errands like grocery shopping, or trips to Walgreens, fix dinners, and do what I can to make John comfortable. Besides that, there’s wearing the home pharmacist hat, paying the boatload of bills, calling the insurance, making calls to dr offices in between appointments when necessary, and still trying to fit in quality time while catching up the DVR!

I have seen a counselor every other week for 3 years, and also require anxiety medication. This time a year ago, I was at the gym 5 or 6 days a week, as it is an amazing stress reliever. The gym part has gone by the wayside this year as I never really know when I will be where and can’t seem to get back into the routine.

I know that in the end I will be stronger from all of this, and my have some sort of honorary nursing degree😬! I basically write this for those who know someone who has a cancer diagnosis, or maybe just an injury which requires some hospital stays or rehabilitation. Reaching out to the patient and/or caretaker with a text or call, or even a simple card dropped in the mail means more than you know! People in these situations don’t ask for help. They often don’t know what they need, until someone just does it for them. Don’t ask what can I do….just say, I’m making (fill in the blank) for dinner, I will drop some off for you. Tell them you will drop off or pick up this or that. Sometimes a beer or coffee date does just the trick! For someone who has small kids, maybe occupying them for a bit so that errands can be done….or run an errand or two so that quality time can be spent with kids! We had friends put up AND take down our Christmas tree this year!!

We realize that people are in worse situations than we are, and people are in better situations than we are, all with a cancer diagnosis. We try to choose to laugh about the crazy, but that doesn’t mean we don’t cry when we need to! There are days when I gripe about making extra stops after work, or “oh crap, it’s 10pm and I forgot to fill the pill case for the next week.” The truth is, I do whatever it takes to get things done….but get overwhelmed along the way.

I’m not the superhero everyone makes me out to be…I hope that I do what anyone would do for their husband/wife if dealt the same hand! I am a control freak, and I know it!

While I hope that things settle down in the near future, I know that if the crazy continues, we have THE best support system anyone could ask for! If you have made it to the end of this, THANK YOU! Just putting things into words helps sometimes…I can collect my thoughts, and re-read and edit if necessary!