#Ineedalifecoach

Now accepting applications for a life coach.   No, really….I’m kinda for real.  I am finally feeling as though life is more normal for me.  But in finding that normal, I have not been doing the things that I know are important for taking care of ME!  Things that I learned were important to keep me from losing my mind when John was sick.  I have still been in caretaker mode over the last 6 months or so, and this week got to see what it’s like to be the patient.   It makes me realize that I need to do what actually makes me feel good….not what I think makes me feel good.

The last few weeks have been kind of crazy.  We moved Johns mom to a different nursing home, she spent a few days in the hospital, and then was discharged back to the nursing home with a newfound spunk.  I ended up with a migraine this week that landed me in the ER for 10 hours.  My family doc wanted me to get a CT and blood work since I haven’t had a history of migraines.  Turns out my bean is fine, and after two days of feeling like I was being stabbed in the back of the head, the headache finally subsided.  I missed a concert on Thursday and decided to lay low today rather than attend a beer fest.  Clearly, I need some down time.

When I went to the doctor, I had to get on the dreaded scale.  I did NOT like what that scale said!   I have never cared about what the number on the scale says, or even what size my clothes are.  I just know when things don’t fit quite like I want them to,……so maybe that’s where the shopping problem comes in.  HMMMMMM…..   At any rate, I feel like since I have been focusing so much on everyone else, that I truly haven’t taken the time to really focus on being healthy myself.  I know that working out makes me feel SO much better, and really keeps my anxiety in check.  I just really have a heck of a time getting back into the routine.

I KNOW what foods to eat, and what not to eat.   I just really like pizza, wings and beer, OK?   Before my trip to the doc, I decided to give up pizza and soda for Lent.   I’m kind of what you would call a weddings and funerals catholic these days.  But I do try to give up something for Lent.  I love to eat fruits and veggies, but don’t like buying them and having them go to waste since my life is rather unpredictable…..I’m popular, yo!  I don’t hate eating healthy….I just like eating junk. Ha!

About my spending……I really need someone to just take all of my credit/debit cards.  Well, and maybe change my PayPal password because that is just too damn convenient.  Don’t worry, I’m not spending beyond my means.   I just buy things when I like them.  No biggie.  I suppose getting nice things is another way for me to pretend to make myself happy, I mean, who doesn’t love new shoes? and jeans? and dresses?  and…well, you know.

Basically, I need someone to cook my meals, give me an allowance, and make me run as if I’m being chased.   It actually sounds like I need to go back to my high school days.  I don’t want to adult anymore.  I just want to relax and watch tv, and be told when dinner is ready, and assume that dinner is more healthy than the crap I’ve been feeding myself for the last year!